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The mother of lots of unhealthy relationship is toxicity. Often times, you easily point out the toxic traits of your partner. This is because his/her toxic trait affects you directly.
On the contrary to the above, you become angelic when it’s your story to tell because you really can’t point out those toxic traits of yours that affects your partner unless maybe he/she lets you know.
Toxic traits are those negative traits possessed by a person but ultimately affects other and the relationship that he/she has with other people.
These are 10 signs (but not completely limited to) indicates that you have the toxic guts in the relationship.
- Doesn’t let things slide
Not letting things slide can involve picking up unnecessary fights, constant nagging, having a problem with forgiveness or not being able to ignore even your partner’s slightest mistake.
There are instances where your partner offends you, but despite the fact that him/her made all efforts to apologize and set things straight, you just can’t let it be or you probably keep visiting the past mistakes during random discussions, This becomes toxicity. - Improper communication
The attribute of a person who cannot communicate properly with his/her partner especially during conflicts resolution is one of the reasons why there is a recurring conflict in the relationship. This is because the person is not willing to open up and communicate properly. If you are the one with this trait, then you are the reason why your relationship conflict is not likely to end anytime soon. - Control freak
Are you the one who always call all the shots, tells your partner what to do and what not, always want to be in charge of every affairs or constantly portray superiority in the relationship?
This attribute puts your partner in an inferior position. Your partner will always seek consents and validations from you. This also makes it very difficult for your partner to stand a ground and own any opinion because you’re always dominating and ultimately, this trait drives your relationship into an unhealthy state. - Narcissism
This is an attribute of a person who puts himself or herself first before anything else even at the detriment of others. A narcissist is also attributed to an egoistic and self-absorbed person.
A person with this trait in a romantic relationship tends to make his/her partner feel less and unrecognized in the relationship and hence, vulnerability settles in. - Gaslighting
Do you usually make statements such as; “you’re being too sensitive, you are just overreacting, it was just a joke, if you truly love me you would let this slide, you’re just making up things in your head”? This is an obvious indication that you are a gaslighter in the relationship.
A gaslighter often bend the sense of judgements of his partner by dismissing the reactions of his/her partner that was obviously triggered by his actions rather than taking responsibilities. - Passive aggression
Passive aggression is usually aimed at mentally punishing another person.
If you’re the kind that often punish your partner using silent treatments, insensitive jokes, sarcasm, jeopardizing efforts, resentments or dishing out hostility rather than actually speaking up, then you’re putting your relationship at risk. - Physical aggression
This is an attribute of a person who physically inflict harm on another person as a form of reaction to anger. If you easily throw things, hit or generally threaten to get physical with your partner then you are at a high risk of losing your partner forever.
If physical aggression is your sub then you definitely need to see a therapist because physical aggression has a tendency of resulting to murder. - Inauthenticity
This is the attribute of a person who tend to show off a different picture of himself to his partner rather than who his actually is. An inauthentic person usually tells a lot of lies about himself just to get his partner impressed. - Apology without remorse
This is when a person apologizes with no form of regret or reflection in his/her actions. This is also known as an insincere apology.
A person who apologizes without remorse finds is very easy to apologize because it is a lot easier than owing up to mistakes through reflection, regrets and taking responsibilities. - Perfectionism
This trait is attributed to a person who cannot accept any form of flaw in another person; be it their personality, looks or behaviors. This kind of person finds it difficult to be impressed by anything short of perfect no matter how much effort the other person has put into it. It is simply perfect or nothing.
The bottom Line
In a romantic relationship, the toxicity of one person has every tendency to negatively affect the other person thereby putting the entire relationship at risk.
Everyone has a toxic trait and these traits have the power to undo our relationships. Most of the problems of an unhealthy relationship is usually as a result of these toxic traits that we ignore in ourselves.
It is important to personally take notes of all of your toxic traits and make positive changes, you relationship would be able to thrive better.
